The Photos Mom Warned You About, Part II
Recently on Menopause & Malarkey … (click the cowboy)
When crafting my last post, “The Photos Mom Warned You About,” I considered adding the following PSA on profile pics that purposely hide the peepers. Instead, jump right into this mini post! Enjoy!
👀 Why the Sunglasses / Hat Brim / Shadow Combo?
1. Eye contact requires accountability.
Eyes show:
- sincerity
- warmth
- emotional availability
Hiding them says, “Please admire the accessories and ignore the soul.”
2. It’s a control move.
Covering the eyes creates mystery without earning it.
It’s the visual equivalent of:
“Trust me.”
… with no supporting documentation.
3. It’s insecurity dressed as swagger.
The logic seems to be:
“If you can’t see my eyes, you can’t judge me.”
Sir. It’s not sexy. It’s sus.
4. Dating apps are not witness protection.
You are not hiding from:
- the cartel
- the paparazzi
- your past life as Jason Bourne
You are trying to meet one woman named Karen or Lisa who just wants coffee.
5. The trifecta effect 🚩🚩🚩
When hidden eyes appear alongside:
- The Fish
- The Flex
- The Fedora
It’s not mystery anymore.
It’s avoidance.
🧠 M&M Rule of Thumb:
If I can’t see your eyes,
I assume you’re hiding either:
- your age
- your intentions
- or a personality that only functions after three beers
Final verdict:
Eyes matter.
They’re not optional.
And no amount of reflective lenses will make up for the absence of self-awareness.
© 2025 Heather Nicole Kight – Menopause & Malarkey. All rights reserved.
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