MENOPAUSE & MALARKEY PRESENTS:
“Meanwhile, Back in Reality…”
A Study in False Advertising
Tell me why Facebook is out here asking:
“Are you 50+ and looking to find a man?”
…then presenting me with a lineup that looks like a casting couch for:
- The Latest James Bond Sequel
- The Brawny Paper Towel Guy
- The “Intimately Beckham” Cologne Ads
Let’s analyze this Bait & Switch.
Age 50–58 👨🏻🦱
Looks like he makes $300K a year building custom log cabins with nothing but a hatchet and a heart of gold.
REALITY CHECK:
My matches are men who wear Viking masks and brag about being STD-free.
Age 59–67 👱🏻♂️
Sir looks like he whispers in French, sings like Josh Turner, and restores vintage motorcycles on weekends.
REALITY CHECK:
The actual 59–67 demographic on Facebook Dating posts selfies featuring bathroom sinks, upshots of nostrils, and pillows as backdrops.
Age 68–73 🧓🏻
This man looks like early-retirement perfection: resides in his mountainside cabin beside a lake, tours wineries around the world, and doles affection on his seven grandchildren, who lovingly call him “Pop-Pop.”
REALITY CHECK:
Tell me why the REAL 68–73s message me “Your smile is my new favorite view” at before 5am, coffee, or a simple, “Hello.”
Age 73–85 👴🏻
He looks like he reads novels on his sunlit balcony, knows how to dance the tango, and makes 80 look like the new 50.
REALITY CHECK:
The only 70-somethings I get wear shirts that are sleeveless, have smiles that are toothless, and use photos that are from 1985. (And they definitely don’t look like Sam Elliott or Sean Connery.)
🌟 CONCLUSION
These men are AI-generated delusions meant to lure us into yet another dating site.
They do not exist.
They have never existed.
They are the enigmas known as:
“Senior Silver Foxus Perfectus.”
Meanwhile, Facebook Dating is serving me:
- Señor Modelo
- Tony who bathes with his dog
- Men who take selfies from under their chin
- Men who list “mammals” as an interest
TalkNest, don’t play with me.
© 2025 Heather Nicole Kight – Menopause & Malarkey. All rights reserved … including the right to remain vigilant.
Menopause & Malarkey 